It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize