Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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