I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The air taste purple.
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