remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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