Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
