no, he came in my armpit
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.