I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
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i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.