Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
