Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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