New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize