belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
