i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
