I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
