end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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