Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize