So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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