when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize