Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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