Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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