I'm pants shitting drunk right now
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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