we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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