sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize