Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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