see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
