i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
