your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize