just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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