Sry I called you an 8
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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