When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
