best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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