you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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