Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i think i just lost a toe
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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