You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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