We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
