I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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