i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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