I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
