one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
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By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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