should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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