direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
