He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up