I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back