when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...