I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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