im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
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Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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