I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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