I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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