it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize