I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
