ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
