we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I came so hard my ears popped.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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