you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
