Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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