I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
