paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours