Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?