I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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