I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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