just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
