I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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