just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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