Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
