i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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