Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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